Most women dream of the traditional fairytale ending. Meet a partner, get married, have children. This is what many of us have grown up seeing our parents do. We have watched it in films and read it in books. We have seen our friends follow this path. But for some of us, it doesn’t happen in this way. Despite our best efforts, a suitable partner does not materialise.
As the years start passing by and still no partner is on the horizon, we can start to feel anxious. Nervous that our fertility may be in decline. Worried that we will never find a partner to have children with. Afraid that we might miss out on motherhood altogether.
For women in this situation, there are options. One of those options is to pursue solo motherhood. To have a baby on our own, using fertility treatment and donor sperm. This is a huge decision to make and there are many things to think about before we embark on this path.
- Acceptance of a different route to motherhood
To reach acceptance of following this route, it may be necessary to go through a grieving process. Grieving for the loss of having a baby in a loving relationship. We aim to reach acceptance that the ending may not be as we originally imagined. It can, however, be equally as positive. Once this is realised, it is much easier to fully get behind the decision to pursue solo motherhood.
- Support network
The more supported we are, the easier the process becomes. Support comes in different shapes and sizes. Emotional support, practical support, face to face and remote support. It is absolutely possible to do this with limited support. It is, however, more desirable to have a great support network helping us out. It is possible to build this network if it doesn’t already exist. We may not have a romantic partner embarking on this journey with us, but we can be surrounded by awesome people who can there for us in a multitude of ways to ensure we feel supported.
To become a solo mum, we will need to be able to fund ourselves through fertility treatment. Following treatment, we will then need the finances in place to support ourselves through maternity leave and beyond. The more savings we can put in place for this, the easier it will be to manage.
If you are in the position of considering solo motherhood and would benefit from further guidance on the options available you might want to consider Going Solo. It is an online coaching course that takes you through all aspects of the process to enable you to make the most informed and empowered decision you can.
For more advice and support please have a look at Mel Johnson the creator of The Stork and I.
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